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I’m Invisible and I Feel Fine

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It’s official. I have gotten to an age and weight where I’m invisible most places. I’ve recently noticed it when I joined a gym.

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When I would work out in my 20s, I was noticed. It made me uncomfortable. I was suddenly worried about what I looked like and what I was wearing and who was looking at me. Was I cuter than that girl? Was I in as good a shape as this girl?

Now I’m a mom. I’m in my 40s. I’ve gained weight. And I don’t give a crap if I look cute at the gym. I’m not going to the gym to be noticed. I’m going to workout. In fact, I HOPE no one is looking at me just in case I’m doing something wrong.

Am I using less weight than anyone else?

Am I using less weight than anyone else?

I do people watch when I’m there, however. I’ve noticed that there’s a guy and girl who are always flirting with each other and I wonder if he’s ever going to ask her out. I notice the guys trying to seem cool and the women who work out with friends and spot each other. I notice the way people work out and when they just sit on the machine looking at their phone instead of exercising.

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I suppose there might be a few people watchers out there like me, but I think most people at the gym are either looking for attractive people, looking for what they should be doing, or just focused on their own workout and how they look to everyone else in the gym.

At first, I was a little sad that no one looked at me. But then I realized that it was freedom. Freedom from worrying about judgment. Freedom from worrying about how I measure up. Freedom to just workout and do what I need to do.

As long as I’m not invisible to the people who matter in my life, I’m happy to go to the gym in my suit of invisibility.

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