I have no words. I have too many words. I can’t properly process what happened, and yet I can’t stop thinking about it.
Thinking about the children who will never grow up.
Thinking about the children who have to live with the fear and terror of what happened to them at their own school.
Thinking about the teachers and staff and adults at the school whose lives were cut short.
Thinking about the teachers who bravely took care of their students yesterday.
Thinking about the first responders, the rescue team, the nurses and doctors who cared for the injured.
Thinking about the families of those who were killed.
Thinking about the families of the rest of the students and teachers who pick up the pieces.
On the internet, people are posting their thoughts and opinions and two cents.
They tell me to hug my kids.
They tell me NOT to live in fear.
They tell me we need gun control.
They tell me gun control isn’t the answer.
They tell me it’s our culture.
They tell me it’s the parenting.
They tell me our country is going to hell.
They tell me it’s an isolated incident.
They tell me to hug my kids and tell me that I love them.
They tell me not to live in fear.
How the HELL do I not live in fear? Please tell me that. Please tell me to kiss my beautiful children, send them off to school, and never worry that something might happen. SCHOOL is supposed to be a safe place, not a place where a heavily armed gunman can waltz into and OPEN FIRE ON INNOCENT CHILDREN.
I don’t know what to do from here on out. I pick up my kids and the police are already there every day. Every time there’s a suspicious person who drives by the school “too many times” emails circulate through the mom network. I hope to God or whomever that if there are scary, unstable people around that they stay the hell away from our school, our library, our mall, our movie theaters.
HOW DO WE DO THIS?
HOW DO WE STAY 100% SAFE?
WHY IS FEELING SAFE AND FEELING OKAY NOT AS EASY AS BREATHING?
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING IN OUR WORLD?
Unimaginable sadness. Unimaginable fear. Unimaginable disgust.
What do we do now? What’s next? How do we all move on from this? Because I do NOT have an answer for this.