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Wistful thinking

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I have been surrounded by babies lately. Our piano teacher had a baby 6 months ago. My cousin had a baby 2 months ago, and a cousin’s wife had a baby 5 months ago. Still another family baby is due in 2 months. There’s something about new babies – their smell, their coos, their cries… it makes most women sigh just a little.

I had 3 babies. I loved having 3 babies, but I also didn’t sleep much. I had post partum depression after 2 of them were born, and a scary infection after the youngest was born. My husband and I survived those first months of infancy, and the challenges of toddlerhood. We went through teething, potty training, sleepless nights, Blues Clues, and The Wiggles.

There are some things I’m glad not to repeat, but I just realized, watching an old episode of Friends of all things, that there are a few things I’ll never get to experience again, and that makes me a little sad.

~ Taking a pregnancy test. That rush of “oh my gosh, what if I am? and oh, but what if I’m NOT?”

~ Worrying about every little thing – the responsibility of growing a human, making better food choices, getting more sleep, worrying about test results during pregnancies. I always thought about what’s the worst thing that can happen, which is dang scary.

~Morning sickness.

~Feeling the first flutters of movement inside. There’s nothing quite like it until the baby starts really kicking!

~Seeing the baby on the ultrasound monitor for the first time.

~Hearing “It’s a boy” or “It’s a girl!” for the first time

Sigh.

Trust me. I don’t want another baby. I’m just fine with the 3 I have. I just wanted to reminisce for a bit about the simple pleasures of pregnancy.

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