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The Waiting Game

I hate waiting. Over the years, I’ve learned to be patient with certain things, but not all. Some things are easier to wait for than others. Like waiting for my babies to be born, or for them to learn a new skill, or waiting to see how a knit project turns out after painstaking attention to detail and knitting just a bit every day til it takes shape. I’m pretty good at waiting for cookies to bake before eating them (most of the time), and waiting for movies and books to be released.

Other things aren’t so easy.

One thing I’m having a hard time having patience for is waiting to see actual results from the exercise I’m doing. I’m not sure what I expect, but after working out for 3 weeks and eating (mostly) better, I expected I’d be nice and svelte and my goal weight by now. I expected my jeans would be falling off my tiny butt. This is not the case. I’m not discouraged yet, but boy… I’m getting a bit impatient.

I’m also not very good at waiting for results of medical tests. In the last 2 weeks, I’ve had 4 tests – bloodwork, a mammogram, an ultrasound, and a biopsy. In the case of the bloodwork (checking my thyroid levels) and the ultrasound (checking for nodules on the thyroid), the results came back within a day or two, so I didn’t have to wait very long. The mammogram results took about 2 weeks (everything’s fine). On Wednesday, I had a fine needle aspiration on the nodule on my thyroid. While I’m sure the results will be fine, the waiting is so excruciating. Well, if you’re me they are. I imagine both scenarios – the best, and the worst. Then they creep into my dreams. Last night, I dreamed I had a giant bald spot on the top of my head. I remember vividly looking into the mirror and being absolutely horrified that I had the hairline of a 65 year old man with male pattern baldness. I tried my best to cover it up, but it kept falling out.  I took this to be my fear of getting cancer and losing my hair. Then again, it could be my own vanity rearing it’s ugly head in new and unusual ways. Either way, it gave my husband quite a laugh this morning.

So, we wait. In the age where everything is instant – from an instant message,  email, texting, fast food, ordering over the internet, and microwaving our food, there are still some things that you just can’t rush.


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