So, today was Maddie’s first day back at preschool. She constantly amazes me with her memory, her smarts, her insight. I love seeing her with friends, and spending some fun special time with her at school. She got to be the snack friend and share the day’s plans with the other classes at the school, which was “making an ocean in a bottle.” She proudly shared that “You put water and sand and seashells and oil and food coloring in the bottle.” 🙂
The big kids didn’t have school today, so they stayed home with Daddy this morning while I worked at preschool. The last day of no worries and video games and whatnot before going back to the grindstone and as Gracie says, she’s “not ready to go back.” But, she’ll be going back, along with Sean, and getting back to the hard work of first and third grades.
That was the good part of the day.
The bad part was the stress of The Project. I’ve got a big deadline coming up, and some of the elements beyond my control aren’t coming together, or aren’t available to me right now, including people. I can do what I can do, but that’s all I can do, and that’s what’s getting to me right now. In one sense, it’s nice to rely on other people, so that the whole responsibility doesn’t fall on me. However, I have absolutely no control over other people and other circumstances, so that’s frustrating.
So, just when I’m about to start hyperventilating, what do I do? Bake.
This morning (yes, at preschool as a matter of fact) I had a talk about cookies, biscuits, and using shortening vs. butter (or both). So, I took a break from my frustration and baked chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. This is a recipe I can make with my eyes closed, as I’ve been making it since I was about 12. Something about the sound of the mixer as sugar, eggs, flour and chocolate chips come together is just soothing. And of course, I usually eat as much cookie dough as I eat actual cookies. Oh well. My kids appreciated the cookies, no matter what prompted it.
Then for dinner, I made Julia Child’s recipe for French Onion Soup. Something about chopping and slicing onions, cooking with wine and butter… so therapeutic. And when you add the toast and cheese and it all gets melty and gooey and wonderful. *sigh* The husband appreciated the meal, no matter what prompted it.
So, while I feel a bit better emotionally, if I keep comforting myself with baking, cooking, and subsequently eating, I’m going to start growing in a way that I’d rather not. Perhaps I should start running again for some stress relief. That way, at least it might balance out the eating part, which I most likely won’t give up… at least not completely.