So, I knit. I’m sure I’ve talked about it before. I have a knitting blog actually. I don’t update it often, as you can see. I also belong to Ravelry – an online community for knitters and crocheters. It’s actually on Ravelry where my little book idea came to life. But, I digress.
So, I knit. Lately, what I knit is “assignments” of sorts. Every year for the last 5 years I’ve knit things for our preschool auction – mostly baby hats, some dolls, some Harry Potter themed bookscarves that went with a HP Basket I put together… You get the idea. I’ve always got a timeline, and I’m always behind, and I end up staying up til all hours of the night. The problem is, and I’ve been doing this same thing for years so I should know better, I get so tired that I make mistakes and the next morning have to rip rows and rows out and start back from where I made the mistake.
The most recent knitting I’ve done, until this week, is for the book. More specifically the blanket. (If you click on the knitting blog link you’ll read about said blanket.) It started out fun, but it has gotten daunting. Thank Allah it’s almost done!
I’ve taken a break from the required knitting this week, however, to do something for a friend. My brother’s fiancee’s sister is going through chemo for a second time with Hodgkins disease. She was diagnosed last year, and thought she was free and clear until just recently, and now she’s back, fighting this disease, again.
I had decided that I was going to knit her some hats, and she actually put a call out for knitting friends to help her out. I asked her sister what styles and colors she’d wear and tried to pick out something that she’d actually wear. I dove in with both feet. I was excited, as odd as it seems, to make something that someone actually wanted and needed. (I wish she DIDN’T need them in the first place, but am happy to do something as simple as make a hat or two.)
One of the reasons I really wanted to this time is I didn’t her last time around. I didn’t know her, then, and wanted to knit her something, but didn’t know if I’d somehow be overstepping my bounds. I was shy, I suppose, which looking back is stupid. I mean, if it were me, I’d be touched. I still regret not just doing it for her. However, I have gotten to know her, and even got to meet finally (she lives in VA) and was determined this time around.
Another reason I really wanted to do this is my friend Diana went through chemo last year for breast cancer. I didn’t know her when she was going through most of it. However, when I first met her on the first day of school in September, I knew she was bald, and I figured it must be from chemo. Diana didn’t seem the type to just shave her head to make a fashion statement. Again, I felt a need/desire to make her a hat… a scarf… something, but again I was too timid. I didn’t know how to approach her, and didn’t want to seem pushy or nosy or overstepping bounds again. Again, I regret not just doing it. Since then, we became dear friends, and I will always regret that. No matter what I could do for her in the future, or have done since becoming friends, it’s something I didn’t do for her when she needed it, and I will always regret that.
So, I’ve been staying up and knitting, getting the wrong yarn first and making a very very small hat (well, a half a hat seeing as when I figured it out, I put it on hold and started a new one). The good news is that my daughters can use it. The bad news is I spent a lot of time on it and Jenn won’t get any use of it, and it delayed my finishing her ACTUAL hats. I’ve also ripped this hat out once and started over. But that’s okay. I want her to see a hat that was made with love. It’s okay if it’s not absolutely perfect. In fact, that’s part of the charm of a hand knit item. However, I do want it to look the best I can get it.
Like I said, though I wished with my whole heart she didn’t need these hats, I want her to have something she likes and can use. I’m pouring a lot of love in to this simple act, and hopes she can feel it somehow when she does wear them.