RSS Feed

Timehop, You Cruel Mistress

Posted on

*Disclaimer: I actually love Timehop. Timehop, I am not maligning you in any way.

For the last 21 weeks, we haven’t done much of anything. We managed to get away for a few days in July to stay in a friend’s condo in Mammoth, where we did our very best to stay safe and avoid other people. Other than that, we’ve kept our travels to the grocery store, and occasionally to pick up food.

We originally planned to go to Maui this summer. We had the tickets. We had a hotel room. We couldn’t wait to go- the kids have never been, and my husband and I haven’t been since I was pregnant with our 19-year-old.

Alas, Covid-19 had other plans. We’ve done our best to stay occupied. We’ve done puzzles, played games, watched a LOT of movies and TV shows. We’ve read books, roller skated, and managed to see a few friends, 6-feet apart. And it’s been good.

But one thing that’s reminded me over and over of the wonderful things we used to do- the places we’ve been, the people we’ve seen, and the experience we’ve had- is Timehop. Timehop has reminded me of vacations, Comic Con, visits with friends, going to the beach, listening to music at the Hollywood Bowl, museums, and travel.

It has been both a wonderful trip down memory lane, and yet it’s also making me painfully aware of the fact that we are going NOWHERE. I suppose you could say we CHOOSE to go nowhere, and I will agree. We don’t want to go places where we’ll see a bunch of people, gathered with no masks. We don’t want to put ourselves in a precarious position, or get ourselves exposed to a deadly virus we could take to family. Most of the places we WANT to go are closed, but we could try the beach… I’m just not sure I trust that whatever beach we end up at won’t be packed with people.

The other thing that Timehop is reminding me of lately is that it’s the time of year I should be putting together my classroom, and getting ready for a new group of learners. Not only do I not have a classroom to put together because all school is virtual right now, but I still don’t have a job, so I have nothing to get ready for.

Image may contain: table and indoor

This year, we are missing a lot. My girls won’t be getting new backpacks and tons of school supplies. (In fact, our high school hasn’t given us any directions about schedules or book pick-up, or ASB Card photos or Senior portraits.) And my son, who is going to be starting his second year at UCLA, will not be moving into the dorm.

I’m hoping that I’ll get some good news in the next month, but until then, we have to figure out how to set our kids up for a successful year, and relish these last days of “summer.”

I just hope in a few years, I’ll be looking at my Timehop thinking, “Oh, remember when there was a pandemic and we couldn’t go anywhere or do anything?” And I hope I’ll be looking at it while I’m doing something exceptionally fun.

Phone Free Living in Covid Times

Posted on

Monday, July 20th, Day 128 since the world shut down, thanks to Covid-19. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions since we were sent home and told we’d be teaching, learning, and working from home.

First, there was shock, and denial. This can’t be happening. This is insane -how can we have a pandemic? It’s been 100 years since we’ve seen anything like this. We have to learn from home? We have to teach from home? We can’t go anywhere?

We quickly moved to pain, guilt- did we wash our hands enough? We forgot to wear a mask. Oh no, I touched my face! Then anger. Some took the anger a little too far and started screaming at grocery workers because they had to wear a mask.

Depression set in when we missed our friends, our family, our way of life. We couldn’t go to restaurants, shopping, or any social gatherings. One person from the household was the designated grocery store guinea pig and one person was the designated bleacher of all items once they entered the house.

There was a moment of an upward turn, looking for rebuilding and reopening, but most of us have accepted that we have to wear masks, not go anywhere, and hope for a cure- or at least for people to start caring enough about the rest of us to wear a mask and do better.

Through all those stages of grief during this pandemic, I at least had a few things to get me through the days.

  1. My family. My husband and kids and I, though we drove each other nuts sometimes, found new ways to entertain ourselves and spend time together. We’re a squad, and we’re in this together.
  2. Phone calls with my parents and video calls with my parents and brothers. These were a balm for my soul, not knowing when we’d see each other next.
  3. Daily phone calls and chats with my coworkers, my teammates. Laughing about how freaking hard it is to teach first grade and kindergarten “remotely” and sharing ideas on how to connect.
  4. Daily snapchats with my best friend. We’d use silly filters, sometimes with silly voices, and just catch up with each other. Since we live in different time zones, it’s a way to see and hear each other, even on different schedules.
  5. Book Club. Both the reading of the books and the wonderful fellowship we share. Usually it’s in person with delicious food, great wine, and better company. During the pandemic, we do it over zoom, which is kind of a bummer, but also kind of wonderful.
  6. Facebook & Instagram. The former is a double-edged sword, because while I got to connect with friends and family, I also got my daily dose of bad news, along with arguments over numerous topics having to do with school, the economy, wearing masks, and protests. It is on facebook where I posted about my dad’s surgery and was swiftly and painfully reminded that my extended family either didn’t care at all, or more likely had blocked my posts because of politics.
  7. Podcasts. I listen to several podcasts a week, which makes exercising and doing housework much more enjoyable.
  8. TV. I’ve watched several entire series of tv shows, and several romcoms (some much better than others), and am rewatching lots of old favorites.
  9. Knitting. Knitting is something that centers me. I knit a shawl, a sweater, a baby blanket, and am working on a vest, and sketching out two books that may or may not ever see the light of day.

For 113 of the 126 days of pandemic/quarantine/isolation/whatever you call it, I’ve had my phone. 5 out of the 9 things I’ve leaned on during this Pandemic Time has been on my phone. Granted, it had a glitchy screen and sometimes drove me crazy, but it worked. I used it for those family and partner phone calls. I used it to check facebook and Instagram. I used it to document the colors of my hair and how fat I’m getting. I used it to text and made Snapchat videos. I used it to look up new recipes, to figure out where I was going, and to order food delivery. When we’d watch a new TV show or movie and I recognized someone on the cast, but couldn’t place them, I looked them up on my phone. I used it to listen to podcasts or music on my walks, or in the car, or doing chores. I Facetimed my kids when they had earphones on and didn’t hear me call them for dinner.

My phone was like an appendage.

For the last 13 days, that appendage has been rendered useless, much like my left arm after I broke my elbow on Day 77 of the Pandemic Times. Well, what have I learned?

I get more reading done when I don’t have my phone to distract me. Today, while my kids were at the dentist and I wasn’t allowed in, I sat on a bench outside and read 3 chapters of a book.

Not seen: several books on my kindle (on top of the pile)

I pay more attention. I pay more attention to the TV and movies that we’re watching together, and I am less distracted by my phone when I’m with my family.

I’m less anxious. Often, when I post something on facebook or a blog post, I check responses constantly when I have my phone in my hand. Without it, I’m much less inclined to care as much about going to check on my laptop to see what’s going on.

I can rely on my family. I have used all 3 kids’ and my husband’s phone for calls and snapchat. I know it drives the kids nuts, but I think secretly they like being nice to me when they let me use their phone.

The first few days without my phone were EXCRUCIATING. We were staying at a condo in Mammoth, having a socially distant getaway. We were about to get on a kayak and it just stopped working. I couldn’t take pictures of the girls and I, or the guys, kayaking. The video I took on the gondola up Mammoth Mountain was gone. No photos of us at the top, or playing Seinfeld Scene It. Gone.

My husband was able to get a photo of the girls and I.

For the next few days, it was frustrating. I couldn’t listen to podcasts. No looking things up. No texting people who didn’t have iphones (for those who don’t have apple products, I can text other iphone/apple users on the message app on my laptop). No taking photos. No listening to music while exercising.

As the days went on, though, I got more relaxed and less stressed about NOT having the phone. Was I frustrated? Yes. And those around me, or those trying to get ahold of me, were also frustrated. I can’t sign up for a DMV account without a phone for them to text me a security code. The oral surgeon who will be extracting my daughter’s Wisdom teeth needs to call me to schedule, and I have no phone. The dentist office told me this morning they didn’t get the signed paperwork they texted me… Sigh. It’s amazing how much we rely on our phones. Something we didn’t even know we needed until 13 years ago.

When I drive to the store, no one can text me to ask me for things at the last minute. However, if I’m not sure of something, I can’t text or call someone at home to clarify. When I walk, I can’t listen to a podcast, but I can listen to the birds and the sounds of nature. I can also invite one of my kids to walk with me.

Image may contain: one or more people, tree, outdoor and nature
Selfie with son, courtesy of his phone

While it’s not quite like going back to the time when I was a kid and no one had cell phones (or even pagers!), it has been a nice reminder that although it’s an important device that is necessary for several things, it’s nice to not be tethered to it 24 hours a day. And perhaps, once I get the new one I ordered, I can remember that feeling and try not to have it attached to my person at all times.

No photo description available.
A simpler time, when no one had teeny tiny portable computers in their hands at all times.

Be Well


Preserve, Protect, and Defend

Posted on

Warning: This is not one of my cute, anecdotal blog posts about my family, how to keep busy during a pandemic, what a great vacation or recipe is, or even something sad/scary/hopeful about Education. This is my Opinion on how our president does not keep his oath to “we the people.” If this is not what you’re looking for, please come back in a few days. Otherwise, welcome.

Each President of the United States has taken an oath when he took office.

I do solemly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

Can our current president truly say that he’s done that? Let’s take a look. Mind you, I am not a Constitution Scholar, I am simply a citizen who can look up our Constitution.

I went through the document, and picked out sections and amendments that I firmly believe Trump has not “Preserved, Protected, or Defended.”

Section 4: The President, Vice President and all civil officers of the United States, shall be removed from office on impeachment for, and conviction of, treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors.

Now, some of you (or all of you) will say, “He was impeached but found not guilty, so he can stay in office!” Well, this is “technically” true. However, he and his cronies blocked key witnesses from testifying, which may have had an impact on this. I suppose we’ll never know for sure.

Amendment 1: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Peaceful protestors have been tear-gassed, maced, shot at, and killed. Perhaps congress has not made a new “law” regarding this, but they’re not stopping the president and Barr from sending “troops” to Portland (and maybe more cities) rounding protestors up. What’s of course fascinating to me is that he has no problem with white protesters, shouting, unmasked, weilding guns, in a GOVERNMENT BUILDING, but when it’s people of all colors asking for racial justice, he calls them “thugs.”

Amendment 8: Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Cruel and Unusual Punishments, like sitting on someone’s neck. Or using HIS power to have the police mace and beat back peaceful protestors so that he can take a picture in front of a church he doesn’t attend to hold up a bible he doesn’t read.

Amendment 10: The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

The president is trying to force schools to open. This is not his call. He is also actively undermining the CDC and Dr. Fauci, along with Governors across the country who are trying to save lives by mandating masks, and enacting rules during this unprecedented Covid time.

Amendment 15, Section 1: The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

The president is trying to abolish mail-in voting. He is trying to devise a narrative in which mail-in ballots are “corrupt” yet he votes that way. You can’t have it both ways, Donald, and you can’t suppress voters by taking away THE SAFEST WAY TO VOTE DURING A PANDEMIC.

Amendment 19: The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.

See above.

Amendment 24: The right of citizens of the United States to vote in any primary or other election for President or Vice President, for electors for President or Vice President, or for Senator or Representative in Congress, shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any state by reason of failure to pay any poll tax or other tax.

See above.

You don’t have to be a Constitutional Scholar to see that our current administration has not been doing their best to Preserve, Protect, and Defend our Constitution.

I invite you all to read the Constitution yourselves. If you find anything you feel I missed, please comment. If you disagree with me and can SHOW PROOF, also, feel free to comment.


Teaching In America

Posted on
Teaching In America

For many years, teachers in America have been at the same time held to a very high standard and completely disregarded. School districts have been underfunded for years. I left the profession in 2001 to stay home with my children and when I returned FOURTEEN years later, my salary hadn’t changed.

Can you name another profession where the salary hasn’t caught up to the cost of living?

It was teachers’ faults when students didn’t do well on testing, but teachers weren’t being given kudos if their students DID do well. We are asked to completely change our way of teaching every 5 years or so. We constantly spend our own money on things that our district can’t pay for, including materials that are essential for instruction.

A classroom furnished by the school
A classroom furnished by the teacher

Then the pandemic hit in March 2020, and suddenly the majority** of America’s teachers rose to the task of completely changing the way they taught, with no real training. We learned new platforms, and suddenly became filmmakers, making videos of our teaching, editing the videos, and posting them for students, then figuring out how to post assignments in such a way that they could be done online and turned in online. A good number of these teachers also did this at home with their families, who were also working and learning from home. (I had my college freshman home, plus my high school daughters and my husband. All of the kids doing their online lessons and finishing assignments while my husband worked from home and had many phone calls and meetings online WHILE I was recording lessons and talking to parents and creating content. I can’t even imagine how much harder it would have been had my children been in elementary school instead of high school and college.)

This teacher, turned producer, in some of her recorded lessons

We tried (and sometimes succeeded) in teaching live lessons online. For those of us who couldn’t connect with the whole class at once, or had very small kids, we learned how to hold discussions and read-alouds while kids were talking to each other over the computer screen.

Parents were home with their kids, trying to “home school” as many talked about online. (I don’t agree that it was really “home school” but it’s a fun, cute way to talk about it I guess.) What parents did have to do was manage their children’s school lives while at the same time trying to work from home (or navigate unemployment, or get used to having your spouse and children home 24/7). Parents suddenly praised teachers, saying they deserved to be paid a million dollars a year and they’d buy whatever supplies teachers asked for when we got back to school.

Memes From Parents Homeschooling Their Kids | California Casualty
It was, for a brief moment

Fast forward 4 months, and suddenly everyone has changed their tune. Parents are forming groups on facebook to discuss what should happen in school and what’s best for their families and there is almost NO mention of what would be asked of teachers. Once again, teachers are expendable – we should be ready to go back into the classroom and teach a certain amount of hours each day and then teach live synchronous lessons online, on top of that, plus give assignments in person and online.

According to our president and the woman he put in charge of education (who’s never taught a day in her life), we should be ready to teach 5 days a week with a full classroom, as if THERE IS NO PANDEMIC.

I don’t know what the answer is on how to teach this fall. Some days I am convinced that the best way to do it is completely virtual, as the Covid numbers are still rising. On the other hand, I know that my own children need to see teachers and friends in person for their own psyche and there is a great number of kids who will not get anything out of virtual learning. So, maybe the hybrid of part in class, part online will be best. What I don’t think will work is having a FULL class of students FIVE days a week.

Before the world stopped in March, we tried to do this for a week, and it was incredibly difficult. The custodians were overworked, the teachers were completely frazzled by trying to keep the kids from touching their faces and making them wash their hands, stay away from each other in line and on the rug, and not coughing or sneezing on each other. Schedules were staggered so we could separate the students during lunch and recess. Trying to keep 20-30 kids in our classrooms a “social distance” apart is absolutely impossible, as the classrooms are just not that big.

I don’t know what the 100% RIGHT answer is, but I know what it isn’t. And I know that, sadly, teachers aren’t being listened to or considered. Parents are mad that teachers aren’t just ready to jump right in and go back 5 days in the classroom.

Parents are demanding that teachers:

~Are ready to jump right in 100% back in the classroom

~Are ready to teach 100% online, for 3-6 hours of live lessons per day with students fully engaged and recorded lessons and assignments as well

~Be in the classroom with the kids AND doing live lessons after school hours for students on alternating days

~Be flexible

~Be brave

~Be quiet

~Be amazing

What I hope can happen is that our leaders really find a way to keep everyone safe whatever way this ends up being done. It can’t be thrown together. If the numbers keep going up and people can’t do the minimum of wearing masks and social distancing, it should probably be done online until things get better. If numbers start to go down and we can truly flatten the curve again, then we can figure out a safe way to go back, with SMALLER class sizes. This, of course, means we need more teachers and ultimately more MONEY to truly pay for what we need to bring schools back successfully.

And I really do hope that when all is said and done the teachers are not forgotten and taken for granted again. I really hope that parents, principals, and leaders can really appreciate and take care of the teachers who show up and do their very best for the kids of America every day.


Side note – I still have no job for the fall right now. I’m still looking, and at the same time holding out hope I’ll get to return to my district, however that may look.

**I won’t say ALL teachers, because I know that some schools and districts out there didn’t have ANY distance learning, but I think that was the exception rather than the rule.

Why Should I Wear A Mask?

Posted on

Ugh. Why should I have to wear a mask? It’s harder to breathe in a mask. My make-up rubs off. Sometimes I have an itch under the mask and it drives me crazy. The mask gives me acne. The mask is hot in the summer.

YES. 100%. All of these things.

Look, there are a lot of things we do as a society that are uncomfortable. Wearing pants makes some people uncomfortable. Wearing shoes makes some people uncomfortable. Paying taxes. Doing homework. Cleaning the house.

We as a society ask one another to do certain things FOR THE GREATER GOOD.

We wear seatbelts to keep us safe while driving. We buckle in our children to keep THEM safe while they’re in the car with us. We use carseats for babies to keep them safe in the car. We don’t let babies sleep on their tummies because of SIDS. We throw our trash away so we don’t ruin the environment and so that no one else has to clean up after us. Restaurant employees wash their hands to keep patrons healthy. Doctors and nurses scrub up and wear protective gear so their patients don’t get sick.

There are hundreds of examples of what we do for each other to keep us all safer and happier. Why is this any different?

Some people are shouting that it’s their “RIGHT” to not wear a mask.

According to the Constitution, we are ALL granted Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. You may argue that if you’re forced to wear a mask, that infringes on your liberty. Or maybe your happiness. However, if you are sick and infect someone because you weren’t wearing a mask, then you are infringing on someone else’s LIFE, as well as their liberty AND their pursuit of happiness. Let’s try that another way. Let’s say neither you NOR I are wearing masks, and I am unknowingly infected with Covid. Maybe I haven’t displayed symptoms yet, or maybe I don’t feel great, but I don’t think it’s serious. You and I have a conversation, and I end up infecting YOU. Then I have infringed on your rights to LIFE (especially if you die or end up in a coma on a ventilator), LIBERTY (you are not free to do whatever you want if you’re stuck in a hospital or in a coma), and THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS (let’s face it- if you get really sick, you are not going to be happy, or be able to do the things that MAKE YOU HAPPY.


And if someone asks you to wear one at a place of business, DON’T COUGH ON THEM, SPIT ON THEM, SHOUT AND CUSS THEM OUT, or THROW ALL YOUR THINGS ON THE FLOOR.

This is NOT a partisan issue. I realize that our president called this a “Democratic Hoax” FIVE months ago, but even he knows that this isn’t a partisan thing. It’s a REAL Pandemic that has killed 133,000 people in the United States alone. It’s not a plot. It’s not a trick. It’s not a joke. It’s real, and people are dying of it every single day.

Because the United States has been so bad at wearing our masks and staying socially distant, the curve we once thought we’d flattened has skyrocketed, while other countries around the world are indeed flattening the curve.

America is not controlling the spread of this virus.

I am probably preaching to the choir to my usual readers, but if I can help change even one person’s mind about masks, I’d feel like I was successful.

I may not agree with your politics. We may not like each other if we met in person, but I don’t want you to die of this horrible disease. Especially when wearing a mask could be the thing that keeps you (and me) alive.

Stay well.


Feminism and Me

Posted on

I’ve never really spent too much time thinking about whether or not I was a feminist. I think I’ve always just felt like I was.

I was born in November of 1969. I was born after the first astronaut walked on the moon. I was a small child in the 70s, and I have some very vivid memories of that time period. I remember “Free to Be You and Me” and my mom’s ERA watch. I remember Ms. magazine.

Image may contain: 3 people, baby and child
My mom, me, and my brother

When I was young, my dad went to work and my mom stayed home. At some point during my elementary years, my mom went back to school and got her Master’s Degree. I remember my babysitters after school and going to her graduation ceremony. When I got to Jr. High (it was junior high back then, not middle school), my mom was working and eventually went back to school to get her Ph.D. She graduated just after I graduated high school. She was the only mom I knew who continued her education. She was the only mom I knew who had a doctorate. She was the only mom I knew who seemed like a fully formed individual and not just “Jenny’s mom.”

My mom was always a great example for me of a woman who balanced both work and family life. She was smart, outspoken, and independent, yet I always knew that she loved our dad and us. So, I knew firsthand that it was possible to be a working mom and still be there for your kids. And I knew she was a feminist.

When I graduated from college and finished my student teaching, I moved up to Los Angeles to teach. I considered it a profession, and a career, even though teaching is one of the few jobs that was always considered “a woman’s job.” I admit that a small part of why I wanted to be a teacher was to be able to be home with kids in the summer, and I always knew I wanted to have kids. (Heck, there was a point I thought that if I didn’t find a husband I’d go to a sperm bank. Shortly after deciding that, I met my husband.)

Young Miss Terich, early in her career

After my husband and I got married, I changed my last name to his, and went by “Mrs. Miller” – I never really gave it much thought about whether or not to go by “Ms.” or “Mrs.”… I wanted people to know I was married, I suppose. I took his name for several reasons, one of which was it was much easier to spell and pronounce than my maiden name. When I went back to teaching after staying home for such a long time, I went by Mrs. out of habit. However, when I started teaching at my most recent job, the principal called us all “Ms.” I’ll admit, it took me a minute to get used to, but the more I used it, the more I liked it. Now, wherever I end up, I’ll go by Ms. and hope my principal will embrace it.

I remember when I was addressing wedding invitations with my mother. She suggested that when I addressed the envelopes to a married couple (especially older couples like my grandparents and my husband’s grandparents), I use “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” instead of simply “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” or even “John and Susan Smith.” I remember vividly thinking it was so antiquated and repressed, and yet now I imagine that my sisters-in-law think it’s just as antiquated that I took my husband’s name. It’s all relative, I suppose.

When my husband and I first got married and talked about having children, we made an agreement. Whoever was making more money when we had our first child would keep working and the other parent would stay home. It turned out that he was making more at the time my son was born, but at the time, I wasn’t planning to stay home full-time. I was hoping to contract- share with another teacher, so I could be home part-time and at school part-time. Unfortunately (or fortunately), neither my principal nor I could find someone for me to partner with, and I was able to choose to stay home. I realize that not every mother has the choice of staying home or working, and I am lucky I was able to choose.

The newly minted Mr. & Mrs. Miller

Some might say that it wasn’t very liberated for me to stay home, and maybe they’re right. I will say that my husband would have been okay if I’d said I wanted to work. I admit that being a stay-at-home mom is not for everyone, and I had friends who chose a different path- either by necessity or choice. At the time, I had a bit of trouble relating to them, as I believe they did me. I’d like to say I’ve grown a lot since then, especially since going back to work 7 years ago. I’m also a lot wiser than I was 19 years ago.

Though I never would consider myself a “housewife,” I did stay home with the kids for 12 years. In those 12 years, I served on the PTA and parent groups from preschool through 5th grade. I volunteered for various tasks in middle school, including coordinating and chaperoning field trips. During my time at home, I wrote two books, which can be counted as working. And, after 12 years, I dipped my toes back into the waters when I started substitute teaching.

I didn’t further my education as my mother did. Though I love teaching, I never did love being a student. I hope that my children see me as a fully formed human, an equal to their father. I have no idea if my children’s friends see me as anything more than “Sean’s mom” although I’ve had many interesting conversations with them, and they’ve never called me “Mrs. Miller” but have always called me “Genevieve.”

I’ve been a “working mom” for 7 years now, and it’s definitely been challenging. Thankfully, when I went back to work, my husband volunteered to take on several tasks that had previously all fallen to me. He made breakfast, made the kids’ lunches, and made dinner several nights a week. He had always dropped the kids off at school, and when I went to work, we split ourselves between the kids’ schools. He also took care of some of the bills I’d been in charge of. The redistribution of labor made my transition much easier than if I tried to do it all alone, which I realize still falls to many working moms.

So, am I a Feminist? Well…

To some, Feminism might mean to refuse marriage, children, and any time of “domestic” life. In this case, I suppose I’m not a Feminist.

To others, Feminism might mean to choose the life you lead, whatever it ends up being. In this case, I suppose I am a Feminist.

To ME, Feminism is both choosing your own life path, no matter what it is, while at the same time lifting up other women -accepting all women for the choices they make and fighting for their rights.

According to the writer and feminist Gloria Steinem, “A feminist is anyone who recognises the equality and full humanity of women and men”. I’m good with this.

As we move forward, and my own daughters grow, I look forward to seeing how their Feminism expresses itself. I know they are passionate about equal rights for EVERYONE, and they see they have the whole world open to them. I hope things only continue to get better and more progressive for them as we move into the future. As has been quoted, “The future is female.” I can’t wait to see what my fabulous females’ futures hold.

My daughters and I, ready to March for our Lives in 2018

Gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen

Posted on

This is a hair post. Why am I writing about hair right now, in the middle of a pandemic and unrest in our country? Aren’t there so many more important things I could be writing about today? Yes, and I’ve already written one very political post today, but when I looked at my stats, I noticed that for some reason, a handful of people had read THIS post of mine about hair today.

So, after re-reading that post, it made me think about the journey my hair has been on during this pandemic. Like most people in the United States, I haven’t been to a hair salon since before the world shut down on March 15th (give or take a day). I had highlights done in February, and my hair looked like this (left, below)

fresh from the salon

On March 16th, our first day of being At Home, I looked like this (right, below)

For some time, I’d been toying with the idea of dying my hair a “crazy” color. I’ve put pink and blue chalk in my hair to give myself little “stripes” at a couple points in my life (usually a concert, a party, or “crazy hair day” at school), but I was too nervous to try to dye my hair pink or blue while teaching.

When we learned that our school would be virtual til the end of the year, I saw it as a perfect opportunity to try something new. My roots were only getting darker, so why not try pink?

My daughter helped me, and as you can see, it started out dark pink and faded to a nice bubblegum color.

The colors I’m using are temporary, so they last a few weeks, gradually fading away. I was nervous about what my students would think or how they would react, but they seemed to get a kick out of it. One of my female students told me, on one of our class meets, that she loved my pink hair. 🙂

After it faded, I decided to give it a little boost. This time I tried it myself.

Another reason I was a bit nervous to color my hair was that I wasn’t sure what it would do to the blonde. As seen above, the blonde was intact once the color faded away.

Of course, I still had my roots that were growing out more each day, and when I found myself in the Emergency Room on June 1st with a fractured arm, I felt the need to spice things up again to lift my spirits. Once again, my daughter was my colorist (I couldn’t do it myself this time).

So, for now, I’m still rocking the Mermaid-tail color. The box looked more blue than it looks on my hair, but that’s okay.

Though salons in other parts of the state are opening up, Los Angeles is just beginning to follow suit. I imagine at some point in the next few weeks I might feel confident enough (or safe enough?) to go to the salon and get back to my highlights. For now, I’m embracing the colors… what should I try next?



Has America Ever Been Great?

Posted on

Donald Trump ran on a slogan that was taken right from Reagan/Bush in 1980.

Make America Great Again - Wikipedia
Sound familiar?

I’m not entirely sure how Trump thinks America WAS great at some point in time, but wasn’t at the time he ran for president. Was it the economic state of our nation? Was it war? Was it jobs? What exactly had been great, who made it great, and why wasn’t it great right now? And what would he do to make it great “again?”

This country’s history is littered with war and injustice against others – Native Americans, Black citizens, women, and immigrants. This country has had ups and downs with the economy, equality, unemployment, and homelessness. This country has not always allowed it’s citizens “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” without infringing upon others rights to the same.

In the 3 and a half years since he took office, there have been 58 mass shootings. Noteably, there are only 2 on record for this year, but the entire country went into lockdown in mid-March.

He has cut education, he has scrapped gun control, and our debt is up. We’re experiencing global pandemic, and America is at the top of the list with 2.6 million cases (1/4 of the entire world) and 117 thousand deaths (1/4 of the entire world). There has been no clear stance from the white house on wearing masks or making other precautions necessary, and the country is opening up, despite our climbing numbers of cases. Police are using excessive force on protestors and black people. Journalists’ First Amendment rights are being threatened. Unemployment is at it’s highest percent since the Great Depression. And now the country is beginning to “open up” again, without ANY clear protocol on how to keep each other safe.

Is that making America great?

America has had it’s ups and downs. America is far, far from a perfect union, but we were doing better in many ways 4 years ago, when he promised to make it “great.”

Now, his slogan is “Keep America Great” which is downright mind-boggling.

How on earth has he “made it great?” and how can so many people believe that he has?

I’ve never felt more depressed about the state of our nation. Perhaps that’s because I’m more aware than I’ve ever been of just how many problems there are. Perhaps it’s because for years, I haven’t seen blatant hate and racism, because it’s been more insidious. Perhaps I’ve been living in a bubble in my own privilege and mostly liberal city. Perhaps it’s because for the first time in years, so many people are seeing that the America they thought they lived in is a lie.

Perhaps its because we have a president who is racist, fear-mongering, hateful, braggart, and believes he is above the law to do whatever he wants and no rules apply to him. A president who tweets like a pre-teen whenever he gets his feelings hurt and lashes out. A president who is a bully.

America may or may not have had great moments here and there, but it is not great now, and keeping this man in the white house will most definitely not improve things, but keep it hurtling toward a steep decline in every way.

To My Black Friends, Colleagues, and Students

Posted on
To My Black Friends, Colleagues, and Students

I am sorry. These past few weeks have taught me a lot. I never learned about the Tulsa Massacre, Rosewood, Colfax, Wilmington, Atlanta, or Elaine.

I am horrified.
I am sorry.
I am learning.

I haven’t posted much in the last few days, because I’m searching for the right words. I don’t want to say the wrong thing, but I don’t want to miss an opportunity to say I love you, and I’m sorry. And I don’t want my friends to think they need to educate me on how to be an ally. They have enough on their plates right now.

I have been watching a lot of videos on social media. Videos of black women and men talking about what’s going on and what needs to happen. I’m listening to podcasts and interviews. I’m reading all the posts from my friends on the subject. I’m trying to better educate myself because clearly, I’ve missed a lot of history.

What I will say is this. I am trying to learn all I can to be a better ally.
As a teacher, I teach all kinds of kids and try to keep buying new books each year to represent ALL the kids sitting on my rug at school. I want all my students to feel seen, accepted, understood, and loved for who they are. I will continue to do this every year that I teach. I value all the teachers I follow on Instagram, who continually post new, relevant books to share and how to start meaningful conversations. I know that I still have a lot to learn, and I will continue to do what I can to be a better teacher, ally, and advocate.

I’m usually someone who has no trouble finding her words, but these days, I’m struggling. I hope my friends don’t see my silence as complicity with the atrocities in our country

I am horrified. I am sorry. I am learning.

I love you.


It’s More Than Politics (aka when Politics Ruin Friendships Part 3)

Posted on

Today is Friday, June 5th, 2020. 8 years ago, I wrote a post about how politics can ruin friendships. Almost 4 years ago, I wrote another post as a bit of a sequel. Here I am, in the middle of a pandemic, watching videos of protestors and police brutality and I find that I have to say SOMETHING.

I have had to “Snooze” friends lately. That’s when you can’t see their facebook posts for 30 days, but you’re still “friends.” Though I imagine I may need to just cut the cord on some of them. It’s not just a Republican vs. Democrat thing anymore. It’s a fundamental difference in ideologies and beliefs about whose lives matter and whose don’t. It’s about freedom to peacefully protest while being shot at with rubber bullets and tear gas vs. the freedom to storm a capital building with AK-47s and face NO consequences.

It’s about the attitude from some people that “All lives matter” over “Black lives matter.” Or even “Blue lives matter” (meaning the police).

It’s about our president trying to prevent mail-in ballots for voting, when he himself does it.

It’s about him plunging our country into the worst pandemic, the worst recession, and the biggest open display of racism in decades.

Let’s back it up.

On November 9, 2016, one of my family members posted a picture of a fisherman holding the White House on a line, while Hillary Clinton sat below it, open mouthed like a fish, with a caption implying she didn’t quite make it.

Not only did I find it rude and disrespectful, it immediately told me that this person would rather give the White House to someone who

  1. mocked a disabled person
  2. said he grabs women by the pussy
  3. said he could shoot someone in broad daylight and wouldn’t lose any voters
  4. called a senator “Pocahontas”
  5. says that someone who interrupted one of his rallies should have been “roughed up”
  6. called white supremecists “good people”
  7. said the world would be better if Saddam Hussein were still in power

After this person became “president” I was unfriended by not only one of my cousins, but my best friend’s mother, because I was a “libtard” according to them. Their president could call people names, but if I called him out on his BS, then forget me. “unfriend” Pretty sad. I thought about unfriending people, and did a few- but not family members, and not people I’d thought of as family for years. Needless to say I was disappointed.

What is happening in American right now is that a big percentage of people in the US are tired of the systemic racism shown every day in our country. We’re tired of the police using excessive force on everyone, but especially on black people. Black Lives Matter protests are happening all around the country, and in many cities, the police are using force against the protestors, most of whom are PEACEFUL. Shooting rubber bullets AT PEOPLE’S FACES. Do a google search if you don’t believe me. You’ll see it. Firing at teenagers, macing children, shoving the elderly, and shooting at reporters.

I’ve seen some posts on social media lauding the police for their actions. I’ve read horrible slurs hurled at protestors. I’ve read “but ALL lives matter.” Oddly, I’ve also noticed lots of my friends are surprisingly (or dammingly) silent. I don’t know if this means they’re fine with everything happening right now, or they support the man in the White House, or if they’re embarrassed to have supported him, but when they’re silent, no one knows how they really feel.

I’ve kept politics out of my feed for a LONG time, because I wanted to “keep the peace” with relatives and friends, but I’m over it. If they don’t agree with me, then it seems we are fundamentally opposed, and I don’t know if there’s a way to see past it. I don’t know if there’s a way back to each other. If they can’t see that ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL and don’t see what’s wrong when white people are OUTRAGED when a black man kneels before a football game but they are JUST FINE with a white police officer kneeling on a black man’s neck for EIGHT MINUTES AND 46 SECONDS while the life left his body, then we are lost. If they can’t see that letting white angry people charge the capital of a state with assault weapons get away with it with NO consequences and see no problem when peaceful protestors are fired upon and arrested, then we are lost.

There is no common ground at this point, and I don’t know if we can ever find it again.